So that's it. That's what started the constantly renewed fervor of breast v. bottle. It seems never ending. The constant guilt messages that are sent about using formula. And I have to wonder, how effective is the use of guilt? When you are first pregnant, the question you hear EVERYWHERE at every turn, at every doctor's appointment: "Are you smoking?" It was totally overwhelming to me. I felt like screaming, "For the umpteenth time, NO!" Now I understand why guilt is used with an issue of a pregnant mom smoking. To say the impact on the fetus is bad is the understatement of the century.
But where is an acceptable line for making new mothers feel guilty? And where are the messages coming from? In terms of breastfeeding, it seems like you can't go on a website where it is all about breastfeeding and how bad formula is. Sure, I'm down with it, I'm drinking the kool aid. I felt horribly guilt on that one night we had to give Callie formula. I cried and cried. I felt like a failure. And all those familiar phrases run through your mind "What is wrong with me that I can't do this for my daughter?" We searched the internet for instructions on how to make the right amount of formula and guess what we found "all children should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life." Awesome. Thanks.
The early days with breastfeeding Callie were tough to say the least. I didn't want to call a lactation consultant. Why? I don't know. It felt intimidating. Weren't they just going to tell me the same things I'd been reading. I came across a mommy blogger who met with a LC who told her "Breastfeeding isn't hard. You must be doing it wrong." So its no wonder that more moms said they would rather get advice from friends and family members than breastfeeding professionals. And I have to say I definitely fell into that category. When I was still pregnant, I emailed my friends that were moms and asked for advice on what types of things were truly needed. We didn't want to clutter up the house needlessly, since it seems to happen anyway! My very good friend Seeta told me, "Breastfeeding is hard. Try not to give up. The payout is worth it." I held onto those words so tightly in the first few months. If those words had been a teddy bear, it would have been in tatters. That was the first time I had heard those words, that breastfeeding is hard. Pregnant/new moms don't hear that enough. It is hard! It is frustrating and painful on top of everything. We are already judging ourselves at an impossible level, who needs a professional to do it for us too?
Back to the onesie. I feel incredibly blessed that I have enough of a milk supply for my girl. But not everyone is so blessed. Some women just don't have a good supply. Some are just too frustrated. And you know what? If mom is stressed or unhappy, everyone is. So something must be said that if breastfeeding is just too much, formula is an option. If you venture out into the blogosphere on the topic of BF, you will meet some interesting characters. Some that say formula companies are tantamount to tobacco companies. Come on now. Now I know there is some junky stuff in formula, but come on! And of course the other formula news item was Similac's nasty recall last week. Gross to be sure, but at least the stuff is coming off the shelves and not going into babies tummies. And it seems that it came from the company itself, not from some outside pressure. Companies like Similac and Enfamil are worth billions. There has been a lot of pressure on these companies of late for all the "freebies" they give moms when they leave the hospital. Breastfeeding activists say it is setting new moms up for failure. I.e. giving up on breastfeeding and going to the bottle. Maybe if moms were allowed to stay in the hospital longer with more access to helpful LCs, it might be different. We were very lucky. We had a great LC that came to see us and was very helpful. And she actually stayed as long as we needed her, she didn't just rush out and mark an x on a chart that said "helped new mom breastfeed at 11am." Because you know what? It is about not just that one feeding but all the feedings afterwards. Because when you go home, whether we like it or not, we are on our own.
Back to the onesie. Does Nestle (Similac) need help promoting formula? Absolutely not. Do you want to see the stack of free formula I get in the mail every week and the 3 giant cans of formula that they sent us home from the hospital with? But do moms who can't/choose not to breastfeed need support? You're damned right they do. Judgement doesn't help, because lord knows we do enough of it ourselves. So back off, crazies. Stop the boycott of Old Navy, stop the letter writing campaign and give some moms a cute onesie to put on their kid. And by the way, the whole point of the onesie is it was a formula one car racing pun. Seems like the whole world missed that one.
No comments:
Post a Comment