Recharging the Mom Battery

Today was my day to recharge and reset. My mom was thoughtful and present enough to know what I needed when I didn't. It was literally, the offer I was not allowed to refuse. And thank goodness. For the past week or so I have been experiencing a little bit of what it is like to be a single mother or a mother that has very little help. I told myself that I could handle it, because what other choice did I have? Well it ends up I can't. None of us can. We all need something. Some down time. Some time to think. Some time to be alone.
So what did I do today? I went to breakfast and I didn't even look at the children's menu. I went shopping for me. Not for baby clothes or anything that said "T" on the label. And I didn't do it in record time. I went slowly. I went to a movie. That wasn't animated. I didn't let myself "get anything done." I didn't do laundry. I didn't cook. I didn't run errands. And then I came home to silence. The beauty of silence is one that I don't get to experience very often.
It was day without screaming or tantrums. No one was kicking, biting and pushing me. It was a day without diapers and calls for Caillou or ElmoAbby or Bolt or calls for Daddy or any other demands. It was a day for me. Every mom needs one. Not wants, needs. We all need to find a way to do it. Even if its just for an hour or two. If we don't recharge and reset we are useless to our children, our husbands, our jobs or any other responsibilities we have. We will become the definition of burnt out.
I knew how much I needed it when I was in tears this morning because I haven't slept more than two hours at a time for a week. And not more than 4 at a time for just over 11 weeks. And I was in tears when I was driving home alone from watching a movie. Alone. Because I couldn't remember the last time I was alone with thoughts of what I wanted and needed to refill my cup.
We tell ourselves we can do it all because it has become expected of us to be SuperMom, SuperWife, SuperEmployee and it just isn't possible. We have been programmed to do it all and if we complain or feel a little less than totally fulfilled, we suck at it and we did this to ourselves. We need to be loved and respected and once in a while we need someone to take the reins from us. And if it is just on one sunday in May or on our birthday, well that just isn't good enough. If it is out of obligation it stings. We don't want to be a day on a calendar. We don't want to be thought of as "Oh damn. Its mom's birthday. I guess I better call her."  We want to be a wednesday. Just because. Because sometimes we are lost and we don't know it until we look up from the carpools and the meal plans and the diapers and preschool and the hell that is bedtime.
So for goodness sakes. Call your mother. Or text your mother. Or email your mother. Show her that you think of her and give her a break. Take her out for coffee or lunch or a glass of wine or shopping. Or just take the kids so she can have a nap or some quiet time to herself. And moms, if you don't get one of these offers, make one yourself. Tell your partners or anyone that can help what you need. Even if you don't know what you need, say something out loud otherwise no one will ever hear you. And it doesn't mean you don't love your kids or your husband. In fact it means the opposite.