Happy 2nd Birthday Callie!

My dearest Callie,
How is it possible that you are 2 today?! It feels like just yesterday I was holding you for the first time, wide eyed and amazed that you were with us, safe and sound.

There are so many things that make me thankful for you. Thank you for giving me a new name. And it is my most favorite name. Mama. You will always be my baby. Even though there is now another baby in our house, you are always my first and because of that you will always hold a special place in my heart. You made us all into a family and for that we will always be grateful my little love. You have changed us all in so many ways. Thank you for showing me the wonder in the world all over again. Thank you for showing me "beeps" and counting "1,2,1,2,1" and exclaiming with glee and reminding me that we don't need to rush so much.  Thank you for showing me how to be silly and dance and not care what other people think so much.

Callie, you are a sight to behold. You are wild and a little bit crazy but I wouldn't have you any other way. There is good reason that I call you my monkey! I kind of love that you make other moms that we don't know at the playground a tad nervous. I will be honest, there are days that you scare even me, and I don't scare easily, especially not now! We've been through a lot you and I. I always joke with friends that you "hazed" us in the beginning. You were a tough nut to crack but it has made our tender moments all the sweeter.

I love that you are about as far away from girlie as possible. I love that you are your own grrl. And I hope that never changes.  I hope you never feel pressured to be more of a "girl." You already are and you are perfect.  You are you and you are phenomenal. You are strong and brave and I couldn't be prouder to be anyone's mama. To me you will always be what your name means, the most beautiful girl in the world. So happy birthday my sweet Callie Helena. I can hardly wait to see what you do this year! I LOVE YOU!

But let's make fewer trips to the ER ok? Otherwise your mama might just have a heart attack:)

The Mommy Wars Get Political

I rarely talk about anything remotely connected to a presidential campaign on this blog but when Hilary Rosen spoke about Mrs. Romney saying "she had never worked a day in her life"  that puts it in the realm of this blog. Her words were poorly chosen, that is for sure. I imagine her career is pretty much kaput at this point. It did surprise me that there was such a knee jerk reaction to her comments. After all she was talking about a candidate's wife who I assume would in some ways influence her husband's view on what women need in this recession in terms of jobs and support. So I can see both sides of it. I can see the whole put your hand on your hip put on a scowl and exclaim "What did you just say?" but I also see where she was trying to go with it. Instead of it being a conversation about how to get more jobs in the hands of women and their families it became about mommies and the war we wage against each other.
It is sad to me that the mommy wars never seems to abate. And it is a war fought for and by women. We are the ones that fire the shots and take the beatings. We are only hurting ourselves. It seems that we haven't gotten very far in the last 50 years. Why are we still fighting each other over the same petty things?
Work is work whether it is paid or not. All mothers are working mothers. Cliche? You bet. But it is true. I know that I am very lucky and not the norm that I am able to stay home with my girls. And I am so thankful for that opportunity. But it is not without sacrifice. We have made some very lean cuts to our budget in the last two years and will make even bigger ones this year so that I can stay home with Lucia and Callie. We don't go out to eat very often and if we do its to a place like Chili's and boy oh boy it is exciting!  We don't go on big vacations. I won't be putting Callie in preschool like I had planned this year but we will wait a year. We have gotten rid of as many luxuries as we can to whittle down our monthly expenses. It is going to be a tough year.
And yes, I could have gone back to work in the fall to be more comfortable financially. But at what cost? I would have lost this precious time with my girls and most likely a very good teacher would have been laid off because of my return. Now of course I could very well get screwed when I come back, since now I have lost my seniority and tenure that took years to build up. But I decided that my job of mother was more important at this point in our family's lives. And I know myself well enough that I would have been miserable in both realms. When I was at work I would feel guilty about not being with the girls and when I was with the girls I would feel guilty about not grading essays or creating dynamic lessons for my students. At this point in my life I am not willing to divide myself so completely when with a little frugality I can focus my attention on my girls.
I take my hat off to the working moms out there. On the days I was subbing last year I really struggled when I came home to deal with Callie in a positive way. I was tired from working and I got home to get her just in time for her cranky time of day. Parenting still occurs after the work day or at least it should. Hopefully all the parenting isn't being outsourced to day care providers. But there were days where I wished I could! I remembered feeling like I had two jobs and they were both hard in their own ways. While I worked during the day it was mentally taxing while my job with Callie was physically taxing. By the time bedtime rolled around I was a wreck. Of course, being pregnant and hormonal didn't help! 
Now do I think Mrs. Romney gave up vacations and other luxuries? Doubtful. The Romneys certainly aren't what you would call middle class! I would guess they had a cook and a nanny to help her with her 5 boys. But regardless it was their family's choice and it really isn't anyone else's business to judge who she is as a woman and what her worth is. Sure she is a public figure because of her husband's career choice but then let's make it about him.
Every year the articles come out about what a stay at home mother would make if she was paid. Those articles are interesting but they also reinvigorate the mommy wars. Take a look at the comments page from those articles. It is as ugly as it gets. Working moms think Stay at Home moms are lazy and the stay at home moms think the working moms are heartless. Everyone loses. I just want to go all Rodney King on the situation and plead "Can't we all just get along?" We all work. It is all hard. And we all want to be respected, if not compensated, for the work that we do. Can we just leave it at that?

Lucia: 1 Month

It is hard to believe that we have had Miss Lucia with us for a whole month already!


I can't fathom how fast this is all going. It felt so agonizingly slow with Callie. But, everything has been as different as possible it seems from how it was with Callie.
I don't mind the sleepless nights too much this time around. Would it be nice to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time? Sure. But my time with Lucia when the sun is sleeping is sometimes the only one on one time I get with my little miss. I also know the sleepless nights will end. When you are going through it with your first you are totally and utterly convinced that you will never, ever, ever sleep again.
Miss Lucia is generally a mellow lady. Again, completely opposite of her sister. And thank the heavens she is! Two active girls might just kill me. She cries for food and when she is gassy but that is about it. She nurses so much better than Callie did.  Last time around I probably should have bought stock in Lansinoh for how often I was using the lanolin and warm compresses.
I am just loving on her so much it is crazy. I love being with her. I especially love the alone time we get when Callie is with Grandma Tere. It is peaceful and quiet and I just get to be with her and relish the moments we have together. I feel like I rushed Callie to get older and move past each stage too fast that this time I am almost trying to will time to stand still so I can be in each moment. 

But that is not to say the past month has not been without its trials. When she got sick at 10 days old and was vomiting and refusing to eat this mama was scared out of her wits. But we got very lucky. She was ok and gained weight. I'm pretty sure the whole ordeal took a few years off my life. So we've definitely been a little more reclusive this time around with visitors as a result, but we are slowly coming out of our shell with park playdates for Callie and visits at the house.So hopefully we will see all of you soon!

The Mama Drama Guide to Baby Gear: Updated List

Since we have more friends having their first babies in the next few months I thought I would revisit my Baby Gear list with some additions. The original post is here and I still agree with all of it! With a few additions:)

Blankets
You will use a lot of them! People love giving new parents knitted blankets which is a really nice idea and it's awesome that people want to make you something, but honestly, those blankets are pretty much the worst type of blanket to use with a new baby. They aren't terrible warm or portable (i.e. won't fit in a diaper bag) and they are just too easy for a little one to get their fingers, hands and arms stuck in between those stitches. I'm sure when the girls are older they will work just fine. But the best blankets are simple cotton, fleece or flannel blankets. I had a good friend make some gorgeous flannel blankets for both my girls and they are still my go to blankets. We got this super soft blanket this time around and we love it! Callie loves the owls and putting it on her sister:)


Diaper covers
Since we have used cloth diapers for Callie for the last two years and we are also using them for Lucia, we have a lot of these! This is one type we have a lot of made by Bummis. They aren't too expensive (comparatively speaking) and they are quite durable. They stand up to lots and lots of washings, which is a little surprsing given the velcro. The only downside is when the baby is still little (like Lucia) the bottom of the diaper cover is too bulky for their clothes. Enter the Thirsties Duo Wrap.  It has snaps on the bottom to shorten the material. Very handy!


Diaper pail
We looked at the Diaper Genie but didn't like the fact that you have to buy their brand of bags to use with them. A friend told me about the Diaper Champ and that's what we use. The only thing I don't like about it is that if you are using cloth diapers it gets full fairly fast. But you can use whatever kind of bag you want. We found a washable, reusable liner that we are using with the cloth diapers. The diaper champ seals in the odor pretty well, which is the goal:)


Wipe warmer
I didn't opt for this the first time around but figured I would give it a shot this time, especially since Callie hates getting changed. It has made diaper changes go quite a bit smoother. Wish I had bought it from day 1.  Is it something you absolutely NEED? No, but it is nice to have around.

Boppy
I wrote about the boppy last time around. I would just add that it is nice to have two. So I have one in the living room where I feed Lucia during the day and one in our bedroom where I feed her at night. That way I don't have to wake up Callie when Lucia is feeding.


Pacifier 
Callie was all about the pacifier. Lucia, so far, isn't that into them. The ones we liked for the early days are the ones by Nuk. The Soothie ones seem like a good idea because they are supposedly shaped like a nipple but it is tough for the little ones to keep them in their mouth, which is kinda the point! When they get older, my favorites are the MAM pacifiers. Good shape, super durable and fun designs.

Swing 
I wrote about the swing last time. We don't have one this time around but if I was going to have one I would opt for one that has a smaller footprint like this one. Because good god, you house is going to be taken over by baby stuff anyway, try to keep it small if you can!

Video Monitor
We had a video monitor last time, but got rid of it, because...well...we weren't necessarily planning on another baby! This time we went for the Motorola Monitor and it is amazing! I love that you can move the camera to see around the room. That will come in handy with two kids in a room when we get to that point. I also really like the two way microphone so I can talk to Callie.

Wet Bags
These are a must if you are using cloth diapers or if you are using disposables and you end up changing your little one in a place where there isn't a trash can nearby. Trust me. It happens more than you think it will!  These also come in handy for wet clothes or swimming suits.  They come in all different sizes, so if you want to keep wipes separate from diapers you can.

Nursing pads
You won't necessarily need these, but they are handy to have around just in case. I didn't really need them with Callie but I have really needed them with Lucia! They also sell reusable/washable ones if that is more up your alley.

Vaporizer
I can't even tell you how often we have used a vaporizer with Callie. Seriously. Get one.